Querying agents means a finished novel and a cause for celebration. But the route to traditional publishing brings anxiety, too. Here’s how to fight it.
It’s that time. Again. I’ve finished my novel One Thing Better and must find an agent. Not just an agent. But THE agent. Someone who loves my novel like I do and fights to bring it to the world. That process begins with the query—the letter that introduces my novel and, hopefully, tempts them to read it.
Sounds easy, right?
As far as writing tasks go, it is. The novel that took two years is done. The query letter I agonized over is written. My book has the right word count, formatting, editing, and, ha, a title (that’s a secret joke for later; keep reading). Sending emails is nothing compared to the work already accomplished.
And yet… I’m so stupidly nervous.
Querying agents means rejection and being ignored.That’s not me being self-deprecating, but a fact (read more about that here). My ego will suffer its hits, and my anxiety is super-primed for the inevitable attack. Worries heckle me. Worst of all, the overwhelming, spirit-crushing possibility and likelihood that no one will be interested. And the beautiful story I’ve toiled over for years isn’t enough. Here’s where my writing motivation takes a swan dive.
So, in the spirit of staying positive, I’ve paid attention to what’s helped before and what I’ve learned from all my time (something like twenty years, yikes) in the query trenches.
10 Ways to Fight Anxiety when Querying Agents:
1.) Channel nervous energy into getting it right (thereby increasing your chances of acceptance). This applies to any nervous thing, really. The more confident you are that it’s done well, the less your anxiety will be. When showcasing yourself and/or your work, offer your best effort.
For querying agents, that means:
- Studying query letters and writing many drafts to reach query perfection.
- Abiding by each agent’s querying guidelines—TO THE LETTER. Apparently, this is an ongoing frustration for agents, as they are very clear, and authors sometimes don’t comply. You want their help, so, damn it, do it their way!
- Editing to the brink of insanity!
- Getting others, even professionals, to edit behind you (because you will always miss something, and you’re insane now, so…)
- And not half-assing anything. In my early days of querying, when everything was done by snail mail, I naively sent queries for a book I hadn’t titled yet (get it? Secret joke?). Nor had I gone through the rigor of a real, line-by-line edit. I thought… that’s what editors are for… and surely those rich publishers would love my story enough to provide that. Silly me! No wonder I was rejected, right?
Anyone can tell the difference between polished and clumsy. And with so many great writers out there, why would agents waste time on half-ass-manship?
Being a polished professional is the first way to get positive attention.
2.) Do your research. Agatha Christie wrote, “Fear is incomplete knowledge.” So is anxiety. To battle back nerves, learn all you can about what you’re doing. For queries, this means:
- Understanding what agents want and if you fill any of those needs. Social media, websites, blogs, books like Guide to Literary Agents and Novel and Short Story Writer’s Market and Writer’s Digest are all helpful resources. Don’t send your romance query to an agent who detests them—it won’t go your way.
- Putting bios, faces, favorite books, and whatever else agents share online gives more insight into who you’re sending these emails to, making them less daunting.
And you’ll discover…
3.) Agents are people, too. We aren’t making life or death offerings to Zeus here. None, as far as I know, release lightning bolts at bad authors for wasting their time. They’re just regular people with dogs and kids and coffee addictions and varying tastes because, most likely, they’ve read way more books than you, they KNOW THE MARKET, and it takes A LOT to get their Spidey-senses tingling.
So, appreciate that it’s subjective, and especially that…
4.) It’s not personal. This is a difficult pill to swallow because, like Meg Ryan so eloquently said in You’ve Got Mail, “What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you. But it was personal to me… Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.” (P.S. Why can’t I ever find the GIFs I want?)
Your novel IS personal to you—we get it. You’ve put your blood, sweat, tears… yada, yada. STOP IT! As I so eloquently quipped in my post on Graphic Novels and must constantly remind myself…
Books aren’t babies. They’re projects.
Rejections in the querying process aren’t the same as strangers bullying your baby. They’re professionals evaluating your work–that’s all.
AND yours is another query out of thousands. Agents don’t know you, and that’s a good thing. Anonymity benefits everyone. It frees agents to give an honest answer (which is truly what you want and need) and makes submitting easier because they’re strangers, anyway. Who cares if they reject you? You won’t run into them at your next neighborhood shindig and be forced to hide behind the palmettos because you’re too embarrassed to face off with someone who rejected you.
Besides, if they turn down your robot-apocalypse novel, it could be simply because they JUST signed something similar, or there are too many on the market right now, or they’re robot-shy after their Alexa went berserk. Who knows?
Don’t let anxiety create reasons. That’s a slippery slope onto a nerve-treadmill—it won’t get you anywhere. And you’ve got other projects to work on. Right?
5.) Remember, it’s a damn difficult business. Agents reject 96% of what comes across their emails. While that’s a disheartening number, it’s logical given the exorbitant number of writers with books to sell and the very few books publishers invest in each year. Some of the best writers, like Stephen King and J.K. Rowling, have rejection stories.
So, when you get rejected, consider yourself in excellent company. It’s a rite of passage.
Maintaining a positive perspective on rejection can make all the difference in getting you closer to acceptance (for more on getting over rejection, read this blog). This isn’t the time to crawl into bed, suck your thumb, and cry over mean agents who must, somehow, have a secret vendetta against you and your precious work. It’s time to try again. Or maybe, go back to the drawing board and reassess.
6.) A weak but perfectly viable consolation prize—learn something from this. Whatever nervous thing you’re up against is a growth opportunity. If you’re open-minded, you’ll discover something that’ll benefit your story or approach.
If the rejections add up quickly for querying agents, then stop and take another look. Have others read your query and take their feedback seriously. Read blogs about common query mistakes and see if yours makes the list. Here’s a good one—17 Reasons Book Manuscripts Get Rejected by Publishers.
Getting feedback and research may prevent you from making the same querying mistakes that I have, like…
About a year ago, I queried One Thing Better to a handful of agents, and when there were no takers, I realized it wasn’t ready. I had the bones of a great story, but it was anemic and needed more brainwork. At the time, I was frustrated, but when I got over my feelings, I buckled down and created a much more meaningful story with the help of a professional editor.
And another huge mistake I’ve made over the years has been WORD COUNT. I’m a long-winded writer (can’t you tell?), so my books end up way too long. In my early days, I didn’t realize how much this mattered. I pitched novels that, maybe, could’ve made it through, except for their wordy word counts, over 100,000. I naively thought, once again, that the story would sell it, anyway.
Nor did I have the editing tools I needed. I kept thinking… I can’t cut anymore without ruining the story. Thanks to those rejections, more writing practice, my experiences with #PitchWars, and the writing conference I attended, I know now that THERE’S ALWAYS A WAY. It may involve “murdering my darlings,” from Stephen King’s book On Writing, and means cutting out things I love but aren’t necessary. Good editing also means taking things line-by-line, word-by-word, and reworking sentences to make them concise. My manuscript One Thing Better has been on a word count roller coaster, up and down from nearly 120,000 to under 85,000 and now back to 90,000—the sweet spot. And I’ve become so practiced with cutting that it doesn’t intimidate me anymore.
Kind of like, querying agents. No, that’s not true. It’s still intimidating, but much less now that I’m a better writer. Knowing what you’re doing makes a hell of a difference.
And viewing your manuscript as a product you’re selling rather than your sweet, precious darling helps, too. Stephen King’s earned the right to pen epic-sized novels—I haven’t—and he started with Carrie, a novella.
7.) Just do it, already. The best way to battle anxiety is to get it over with—then, duh, you’re not anxious about it anymore. Taking the first step makes the next one easier.
On Friday, I sent out eleven queries. I tackled easier ones first—those requiring only the letter and a few sample pages. I saved agents asking for a synopsis for later because I’m not quite happy with mine yet.
Yes, hitting send the first time was a wee struggle. I must’ve read it over a thousand times, checked and rechecked for all it required, and prayed over it. But once it swooshed away, I was quicker to do the next and before long, had finished eleven.
Of course, I worried about them after the fact. Did I remember to italicize this or tweak that? But that I couldn’t change it relieved some anxiety, anyway. What’s done is done.
And I felt super-accomplished. Maybe I’ll find eleven rejections in my inbox on Monday, but my part is over. The presentation’s done (for now), and all I can do is keep trying others and wait.
And while I’m waiting…
8.) Celebrate the wins… instead of focusing on the worries. Giving yourself positive pats on the back pushes anxiety aside.
- You wrote a book! Or accomplished whatever goal that led you here—to this nervous moment. Doing nervous things means you’re growing as a professional. That’s a big deal. You don’t give up or let anxiety control you or keep you from good things. You make it happen, anyway.
- Querying is brave! It’s difficult putting yourself out there, and taking the risk. And you miss every chance you don’t take.
9.) Stay busy. Do something else to keep your mind off of what’s making you nervous. Read books. Visit friends. Binge-watch Netflix. Do things you didn’t have time for while you were working on it.
Give yourself space. Putting a little query-space between me and my novel has made room for new ideas. I have a superhero novel to return to (it bloomed to around 120,000 words, so my editing-scalpel is ready). I have my Delilah Duffy series to finish (murders, drones, and maybe, a wedding, oh my!). And there’s a new plot swirling involving four women in a walking club who stumble into a murder—think Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club meets Real Housewives. One good anxiety cure is distraction, and I have plenty to keep me busy.
And so do you! Check out my plethora of writing prompts if you need help getting started!
10.) And what’s the worst that can happen? Form rejection letters. Maybe a note from an agent with suggestions. And, if you’ve exhausted all possibilities, burying your novel in the manuscript graveyard and moving on to another project. Eh, that sucks but it’s a writing rite of passage, too. And no matter what, each project makes you a better writer.
Don’t let worst-case-scenario thinking trigger more anxiety by using logic. The dire consequences you imagine aren’t reality. If you mess up or fail to get what you want, you go on to something else. Even if you embarrass yourself, that moment isn’t all moments. You’re not doomed to it forever. Just laugh and shrug and say at least I tried. It doesn’t have to be devastating unless you let it.
So, don’t. Tell your anxiety to back off. Read my blog about handling rejection. And…
Course, I say all this and, now, Monday morning, three rejections in, and I’m feeling very much like crawling into bed…
How do you fight anxiety? Share your tricks below. In the meantime… I’ll get back to querying.
