Staying positive when overwhelmed with negativity isn’t a walk in the park. Or is it? Maybe it’s just what you need to regain focus.
During our walk today, I spotted a lovely butterfly and scrambled for a pic. At first, it proved elusive, flittering high into the overgrown bushes, skipping along the path too fast for my slow hands, and nearly disappearing altogether. But I stayed on its trail, jogging to catch up when it finally rested on a bush. The results of my patience gifted me this…
Steps later, while still goo-goo-eyed over my sweet pic, a snake slithered evilly on the path’s edge. I’m pretty sure it hissed at me (in my mind, it did). Too busy jumping behind Joe and screaming, I failed to snap a pic. But here’s one from a previous nightmare encounter at The Fort Fisher Aquarium (in the wild!). For you aquarium buffs out there, we’ve also seen gators in the wild there… not all critters are in tanks.
Heart rate now elevated and panic instigated (my snake fears are super-serious, ya’ll), I thought of little else for the rest of the walk home. On high alert for the slinky beasts, I watched every step, gripping Joe’s arm as a shield. Butterfly thoughts long forgotten, I let a snake take over my experience. And I’ve had snake nightmares every night since.
The same sort of thing happened the other day when I let technical difficulties frustrate me into a bad mood—it’s not hard. The printer stopped working. My 11-year-old computer gave me spinning circles rather than the websites I needed and loaded at a pace the 1980s would call slow. Then, I arrived late to a webinar and struggled to understand their techie jargon (Nerds!). Leave it to me to have technical snafus when trying to learn about how to better use technology! It was a rough day.
By the way, the webinar was about what I call Google-feelers—the increasingly intelligent algorithms Google uses to determine search results. Don’t be alarmed, but they’re getting smarter, people. Like scary-smart. AND they’re watching us, figuring us out, reading our blogs, right now.
But that’s a blog for another day (if I ever fully understand it and Goggle lets me).
Whatever good I did or tasks I completed didn’t matter. The frustrations overruled them all—I could think of little else.
Like the damn snake.
In my article on Black Cats, I discussed our natural inclination toward negativity (negativity bias) when relating some of my previous publishing and blogging pitfalls. Negatives take center stage in our minds, while positives are only happy, little side characters. And it’s a challenge to switch their roles once pushy negatives take over.
So, how do we rewrite the script and stop the negatives from seizing major roles? Here’s some advice on staying positive when negatives take over.
First, handy-dandy redirection. Years of practice with my anxiety have taught me to change my thinking. When bad things take root in my head, they must be snuffed out quickly (or bad thoughts turn into bad days). This takes effort and practice, but it helps.
Instead of repeatedly thinking… Holy shit, I saw a snake!
I think… Yes, I saw a snake, but I also saw a butterfly. And had a nice walk with Joe. And it’s a beautiful day.
Instead of… With all these problems I’m having and things constantly changing, I’ll never master technology.
I think… I’ve learned so many things over the years. I can learn this, too. And I won’t get taken down by a damn printer or an old computer.
Second, stepping away does wonders for staying positive.
Just like you would from a snake. When overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s best to step aside, at least for a minute. That allows room for someone else to help (Joe), and it provides space for redirection and deep breaths, and saves your printer from being pummeled by a baseball bat.
The printer won’t decide to work just because I’m pissed at it. Why not leave the desk, pet a dog, stroll the garden, or get a snack? This’ll allow problem-solving to kick in, and there’s always a solution. We just have to find it.
And usually, it’s the damn dumbest thing… Joe restarted my computer.
Another way to step away… binge-watching The IT Crowd. It’s weird, quirky, and funny–like me when I’m not letting snakes overtake my butterflies.
Third, revisit your goals.
Remember what you’re trying to accomplish. I was trying to get a good walk in—seeing the snake sucked, but it didn’t take me away from my goal.
Likewise, the printer delayed my plans but didn’t upset them completely. Just upset me. Emotions are pesky.
By focusing on your goals rather than what’s giving you problems, it’ll be easier to regroup and move forward.
Fourth (and weirdest), know that these things aren’t intentionally thwarting your plans, like Gremlins in the machine.
The printer isn’t practicing sabotage. The snake wasn’t following us, ready to strike (thank God!). Even the Google-feelers aren’t nefarious—they’re just trying to improve the search engine (we hope). It’s just an imperfect world–nothing to get upset over.
Finally, fifth, try some butterfly pics or anything that betters your mood.
Immersing yourself in the good helps lessen the bad and puts you in the right mindset for staying positive.
With beauties like these, there’s no room to harp on the downside.
Pet pics are also encouraged.
Or try the beach… The beach always makes things better.
Aw… I feel so much better.
What breaks you out of bad vibes? Share your tips and tricks for staying positive below. Thoughts on butterflies, dumb printers, and Google-feelers are also welcomed (but be careful; they’re watching).
For more on writing and positivity, check out my blog.
